November 3, 2023 by Edward Stephens in Awards with 0 comments
Ultiworld is pleased to announce our annual Club Awards, starting with the Club Player of the Year in each division. While we consider both regular season and postseason performance, because of the nature of the Club division, we weight success in the Series and at Nationals above all else. The Club Awards are voted on by Ultiworld reporters, contributors, and editors.
We begin our awards presentation with Player of the Year, our most prestigious award. Our Player of the Year winner is the best performer of the 2023 club season, and the highest vote-getter for All-Club honors. The winner is not eligible for consideration in any of our other individual awards. The runner-ups up will be identified as the second and third vote-getters when the All-Club teams are revealed.
Player of the Year Award
All-Club First Team
All-Club Second Team
Defensive Player of the Year Award
Offensive Player of the Year Award
Breakout Player of the Year Award
Coach(es) of the Year Award
Club Awards Voting Breakdown
Snubs and Superlatives
2023 Men’s Division Club Player Of The Year
Christian Boxley (Washington DC Truck Stop)
You have carte blanche, a team of sports performance researchers, and state of the art equipment in the lab. Your mission is to create a perfect cutter. What does your monster look like, Dr. Frankenstein?
Crank up the footspeed to the max, obviously – as close to DK Metcalf as you can get in this beautiful non-professional sport of ours. Graft some gazelle leg muscles wherever they need to go to raise the stotting capabilities through the roof for emergency deployment in special high-disc situations. Better run some Joel Schlachet simulations to reinforce red zone stop-start side-to-side domination. And hands like steel traps, of course.
But that’s not enough.
Throw some Lidar sensors all over and hook them up to a top-of-the-line industrial strength processor for constant field scanning and space assessment. Drop in an engine from one of those 1990 Hondas that still hasn’t quit after 300,000 miles. Then, contract out a neuro-scan from your colleagues at Lacuna, Inc., have them pinpoint all instances of the word ‘turnover’ in the subject’s brain, and zap them out one-by-one during a night’s sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-style.
And for a final touch, include a smile that radiates throughout the whole team, engendering trust and feelings of mutual support.
Congratulations, Doc, you’ve just engineered Christian Boxley. From the jump this season he was that rare combination: electric and consistent. Playing system ball, posterizing defenders one-on-one, coming in like a hero when the systems broke down, and generally scarpering wherever he wanted. And he never slowed down: his turnover-free 14G, 6A, 2B line from Nationals was a thing of beauty. Truck Stop played the team game as well as any team ever on their way to a championship, but even their tremendous depth could not dull the shine on Boxley’s 2023 season. He was absolutely brilliant.
