Not all ultimate injuries are alike. None of these are.
April 1, 2020 by Patrick Stegemoeller and Tad Wissel in Other with 0 comments
At some point, we’ve all gotten injured because of ultimate. Maybe it was a tough landing on a bid that dislocated your shoulder. Maybe it was not warming up enough and then tweaking your hammy. We’ve all been there. But some of us have certainly been there in much weirder ways than others. The STF weird injury bracket continues this week, with the second round of the oddest and most gruesome ultimate injuries anyone’s ever heard, as submitted by their listeners.
Sixteen becomes eight as we say goodbye to half of the contenders in this weird contest. The voters showed either a deep concern for those most severely injured or a thirst for carnage in putting through generally the gnarliest of the bunch. A broken foot was no match for a ruptured kidney, a gash on the ankle couldn’t hold up to a “disfingerment,” and pretty much everything paled in comparison to a torn trachea. There was no love for burn victims, as both the campfire lady and “molten cheese hands” fell before more gruesome competition.
Will the bloodlust continue in the second round, or will some other sentiment prevail? The torn PCL desert marathon scored an impressive win in round one on the back of high schadenfreude scores, with the broken ribs at Nationals riding a similarly tragic wave to round two. Both go up against pre-bracket favorites in the “disfingerment” and the torn trachea, and these matchups could give us a good indication of which way the wind is blowing. Jody Avirgan’s injury that bled, literally, into his real life may need some of Avirgan’s real-life clout to overcome the haunting imagery of Lewis Rhine’s ruptured kidney. And down in the bottom of the bracket, Flapjack’s alien back will hope to pull an upset over what may be an overwhelming level of support for the guy whose junk got all messed up by a cleat.
Get your votes in now and send four of these heroes to the semifinals. Round 2 voting is now open through Friday, April 3rd, at 3 PM Eastern.
We condensed the stories into top-line summaries, but some have fuller contexts that make them even better, so toggle the Full Story dropdown if you want to do the background reading.
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